Topeka, Nov. 25.



My own dear Mother:



I almost cry to think of writing to you.  I love you more than I [?] can tell.  For the long years that

have [?] by since I saw you last I have thought of you continually and hoped I should soon be in a

condition to come on and see you.  I regret that I ever left you.  Nothing that I have done or

gained here or can at first to gain can ever make up for your company.  I just hope to be a

comfort to you in your old age.  I have felt too keenly for you to write to you  I have delayed it

from time to time still thinking of my own dear mother.  No one knows how much I love you and

still love you.  I hope to see you soon  I have hardly dared to read a letter from home for the last

year.  I [?] 2 months here I carried them almost deciding to look at them.



But I hope the time will come when I can say that I still have a mother and not be ashamed at my

treatment of her.  I have been hard at work for the first year and hope to accomplish something

out of it.  But your still my own dear mother and heart sick as I have been I still love you better

than all things else.  Time seems like a dream since I saw you last  I hope that I may see you and

take you in my lap and kiss you.  You know not how many tears I have shed in thinking of you.  I

must say that on the whole I have had a [right?] time of it since I left New Hampshire. 

Disappointment and disappointment has come upon me but no one  has heard me complain.  I

have borne every thing in silense.  As for my self I do not care so much.  I have but very little

selfishness in my nature.  But I cannot bear the idea of any one else suffering through me.  My

heart almost breaks at the thought.  I hope soon to be in a condition that will make us all happy.



Goodby my own dear mother. No one can love me as I know you do. If you will write me another

letter I will answer it before I go to sleep.  You know how much I love you, don't you



Your affectionate Child



Charlie.





You and Katie must excuse this paper, but I had not time to get any other [tonight?]